The Love Dare: Love is Kind – Day 2

18 Oct

Kindness is love in action. If patience is how love reacts in order to minimize a negative circumstance, kindness is how love acts to maximize a positive circumstance. Patience avoids a problem; kindness creates a blessing. One is reactive while the other is pro-active. Kind people find favor wherever they go. Even at home. So let’s breakdown kindness into four basic parts.

Gentleness – You are careful how you treat your spouse, never being unnecessarily harsh. You are sensitive and tender. Even if you need to say hard things, you structure your words in a manner that is not demeaning or disrespectful to your spouse.You choose not to raise your voice.  You speak the truth in Love.

Helpfulness – Being kind means you meet the needs of the moment. Kindness gives a wife the grace to serve her husband and treat him as a king without thinking of her rights. It makes a husband curious to discover the needs of his wife and he steps up and ensures they are met – even if he has to forgo his own needs.

Willingness –  Kindness inspires you to be receptive and open to listen to other people’s views. Instead of being obstinate, reluctant, stubborn and always insisting that you are right, you listen to views or suggestions that you may not necessary agree with. A kind husband ends thousands of potential arguments by his willingness to listen first rather than demand his way.

Initiative – Kindness thinks ahead and takes the first step. The kind husband or wife will be the one who greets first, smiles first, servers first and forgives first. When acting from kindness, you see the need, and then you move first. You don’t wait for the other party to initiate so that you can respond.


In addition to saying nothing negative to your spouse again today, do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.



You need to do that one thing that your wife does not expect you to do. It could be something she has told you countless times until she gave up. It could be something that she would really do with an extra hand, but you have always been unavailable to assist. You could decide to do the dishes, cook, cleanup the house, help with the kids; make her a special breakfast (to the best of your ability. If a fried egg is the max you can do, do it), take her out for coffee unexpectedly. The idea here is you do something that is unexpected as an act of kindness – even if she does not comment about it or worst case scenario even comments negatively about your whole effort. Do not be discouraged. Soldier on.


You need to look at what would make your husband ponder and say what is going on!. You could decide to make his favorite meal and choose to wait to serve him even if he comes home late, probably even drunk. It could be you deciding that, you will treat him with kindness when he comes home, even as he expects you to start shouting at him and treating him unkindly. It’s deciding to prepare a bath for him, and having the clothes ready by the time he is out of the bathroom. You could even decide to take him out for dinner or for a movie. You can polish his shoes as well, fix his tie or whatever you can think of. Am sure by now you have enough ideas. Just remember one thing, the idea here is you do something that is unexpected as an act of kindness


Posted by on October 18, 2012 in Marriages


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4 responses to “The Love Dare: Love is Kind – Day 2

  1. Chrenyan

    October 18, 2012 at 12:11 PM

    Two things stood out for me here:

    1. Curiosity. I think this is very important. Women are often unfathomable to men, and I think it is good that it remains that way, otherwise boredom sets in. We must continually seek to know: what would tickle her fancy at this time? Anapenda nini? Anataka nini?
    2. “The kind husband or wife will be the one who greets first, smiles first, serves first and forgives first.” Nothing to add, that is profound.

    • Justus

      October 18, 2012 at 12:21 PM

      Thanks alot bro. I see you are learning as well. By the time you get there, you will be a guru. 🙂

  2. Diana

    October 18, 2012 at 11:48 AM

    This one is not so hard, it is actually interesting.

    • Justus

      October 18, 2012 at 12:02 PM

      Hi Diana,
      Glad to note that. That is the spirit. When we get that perception, its easier to handle them. If you practice kindness, you will be surprised at the way it can change an argument that could have been heavily tilted against you. Keep soldering on.


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