Marriage is a great institution. It is honorable before God and its one of His ordinances. But when you think about what you want your marriage to be like, the furthest thing from your mind is a battleground. Fact of the matter is that there will be many battles that you should be more than willing to fight. And these are battles that pertain to protecting your spouse.
Unfortunately your marriage has enemies out there. They come in different shades, forms and strategies, but their objective is only one – to ruin your beautiful marriage. Some of these enemies are clever and seem attractive, only for you to realize that they are undermining your love and appreciation of one another. Others try to lure your heart away from your spouse by feeding you unhealthy fantasies and unrealistic comparisons. It’s a battle that you must wage to protect your marriage – when love puts on armor and picks up a sword to defend its own. Your spouse and your marriage need your constant protection from things like:
Harmful influences – Are you allowing certain habits to poison your home? The internet, social media and TV can be productive and very informative for you, but they can also take away precious time together with your spouse and family at large. Work schedules that keeps you away from your family for unhealthy amounts of time is another enemy you should be wary of. You can’t protect your home when you are rarely there or relationally disconnected. You need to get a balance of things.
Unhealthy relationships – Not every friend that you have adds value to your life. Not every man you have a drink with speaks wisely in regard to marriages. Not every woman in your ‘chama’ will speak positively of men and marriage in particular. Anyone who directly or indirectly undermines your marriage cannot be considered a friend. If you share the challenges in your marriage to your friends and instead of guiding you through the situation, they incite you further and justifying your rights to be angry, it could be time to reflect on who your real friends are. You must also certainly guard yourself at all times from allowing opposite-sex relationships in the workplace, gym or even church to draw you emotionally from the one to whom you have already given your heart. Always draw the line and do not entertain flirting by all means if you really love your spouse.
Parasites – Watch out for parasites. A parasite is something that sticks on you or your spouse and drain the life out of your marriage. They are usually in forms of addictions like alcohol, pornography, masturbation, gambling or even social media. If also not managed, things like TV, Movies, and sports can fall in this category of parasites as well. They promise pleasure but grow like a disease and consume more and more of your thoughts, time and money. They steal away your loyalty from those that you love. They always seem to take precedence of your spouse. Marriages rarely survive if parasites are still present. If you truly love your spouse, please get rid of the parasites in your life.
Shame – Marriage has a way of exposing all your weaknesses and vulnerability. Your spouse knows your weakest areas. You must seek to protect your husband or wife by avoiding negative talk in regard to his or her failures. He could be lousy in bed, or she could be a very bad cook, you should not discuss your spouse among your friends in a way that demeans him or her. If at the height of disappointment with your spouse, desist from rushing to posting your frustrations in the social media, opening your spouse to ridicule. Love protects and hides the fault of others. It covers their shame.
Wives – You have a very important role to protect your marriage. You must guard your heart from being influenced by novels, magazines, soap operas and other forms of entertainment that may blur your perception of reality and putting unfair expectations from your husband. It may be important to also appreciate the fact that your husband’s performance in bed would be most likely far below your wild dreams. But you can take a step and together work out to iron out the various aspects that will require some improvements. “The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands” Proverbs 14:1
Husbands – You are the head of the home. You are the one responsible before God for guarding the gate and standing your ground against anything that would threaten your wife or marriage. You wife must feel secure at all times. Do not let her feel insecure every time you are late from work, or there is a ‘business’ trip and she is afraid what could happen. This is no small assignment. It requires a heart of courage. Jesus said, “If the head of the house had known what time of the night the thief was coming, he would have been on alert and would not have allowed his house to be broken into” Mathew 24:43. This role is solely yours take it very seriously.
Remove anything that is hindering your relationship, any addiction or influence that’s stealing your affections and turning your heart away from your spouse.